Memorial Day is less than a week away. You know what that means; summer is nearly here. This [school] year is truly flying by, and I am at once nostalgic, overwhelmed, and ecstatic about the onslaught of changes that are riding on my heels. Por ejemplo:
1. My first class of sixth graders moves on from our little school next month, graduating to high schools all over Brooklyn and Manhattan. They were so little when I was their teacher just a few years ago. Now they are teenagers about to turn a major page in their lives. In a lot of communities around the country, the transitions from elementary to middle to high school are not such a big deal. In New York City, there are a myriad of factors in kids' lives that change at warp speed during these points - your school, your friends, your commute, your uniform, to name just a few. When this group of kids came to us, most of them had been considered the shining stars of their old schools and classes, and with good reason. That transition is difficult, but now they're so much smarter and so much better. I hope that they go through the same process smoothly in ninth grade, and that they continue to be pushed and challenged by their schools and their peers. I can't believe they're leaving.
2. We are moving to Queens. Our new lease has been signed and we will say goodbye to Kings County (at least as our place of residence) in about a month. Our new neighborhood is quiet, residential, and green. The New York City rental market is a rapid enterprise, so we essentially decided on this apartment in the blink of an eye when we saw the kitchen. Needless to say, I am slightly apprehensive about the process of moving, as well as the new, traffic-encumbered drive to work. Like many, I am a creature of habit, resistant to change of many kinds and happy to be settled into a predictable routine. Upsets to the delicate balance I've created are not necessarily welcome, even when they are necessary or beneficial. Nevertheless, the new apartment is quite satisfactory and I am excited to settle into a new routine with a new borough as the homestead.
3. The wedding is very fast approaching. Last night I had a strange and alarming dream in which we were a week before nuptials and it came to my attention that invitations had somehow never been mailed. I realize in my awake state that this doesn't make sense, as I would have suspected a problem earlier due to lack of RSVPs, and my dream never addressed whether this accident was my fault or his, which I also looked back on with perplexity. Whatever, it was a dream. The point is that (back to the dream state now) I did not feel nearly as anxious as would be considered normal over such a massive glitch, and I simply told Mike to call everyone, apologize, and ask if they were coming. As my dream self, the consuming emotion I experienced was not stress, worry, or panic, but rather anticipation. It was not the kind of anticipation that ails you when you want to get something over with, it was the sort that you feel when the whole world appears to be at your fingertips. So this is how I woke up in the morning, with an eager composure and delight that assures me: amidst the end of year madness, the upcoming move, and the impending wedding planning crunch, life is generally great.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Our Reactions, Our Selves
Just because something is true doesn't mean that it should necessarily be said out loud. I am a very honest and outspoken person, and so I struggle daily with how to monitor the way my thoughts and feelings are transformed into words and actions. On this day when so many Americans are feeling the pride of our country and it's success in bringing down an evil leader, I'm saddened to say that most of what I feel is shame. I'm ashamed of the people who, in traditional and social media, behave as if the work of our military and the fight against hatred is somehow akin to the narrative of a video game or television show, and that Manichaeism adequately describes the way the world works. I'm ashamed of the people who, instead of going to work or simply waving a flag, ran around Times Square completely intoxicated at eight o'clock in the morning. There are better things in life to celebrate.
I'm not saying that Osama Bin Laden deserves our respect or sympathy, and I'm not saying that he deserved to live; I don't presume to take on the role of jury, judge, or God. But I do think that this day should be about remembering those we lost on September 11 and honoring those who have kept us safe since, not about a "we won, they lost, yippee" mentality. It is so not that simple. There are a lot of strong emotions associated with 9/11 and with Bin Laden, and I completely understand that; I'm a New Yorker. My father and many friends' fathers and mothers were pretty much right around the block from the towers that day and I remember the panic that rippled through the tri-state when the planes hit. I still get chills when I see the skyline in old episodes of Friends or in movies. I get it, the death of the mastermind is cathartic.
The problem arises when it becomes common place to publicly celebrate death and violence. I feel like I'm inside the Roman Collesium, desperately trying to get out before I have to witness not just the death of a gladiator, but the abhorrence of our species in the enraged audience. Obviously that metaphor is exaggerated for effect. We are talking about the death of a horrible man here who has caused us a great deal of pain, and our emotional responses run the gamut. But when we react publicly, can we do so with a little more civility? Can we hold back from literally cheering, thereby avoiding looking like a bunch of monkeys, and instead simply say thank you to our troops? And for pete's sake, can we abstain from using this moment to justify our political views or continue to harp on the failures of our political opponents? I am so sick of reading about how George Bush brought about this moment from conservatives, or about how badly he screwed it up from liberals. He hasn't been president for a while now, can we just move on? (I failed here; on twitter this morning I wrote that if this doesn't get Obama reelected then I'm not sure what will - just because something is true doesn't mean it should necessarily be said.)
When I see news clips of the masses celebrating in New York and elsewhere, I feel quite troubled. These sorts of celebrations should be reserved for World Series parades or Royal weddings or the advent of a new and more just regime. The media would have us think that the latter is precisely what this is, but I can't help but be reminded: we haven't won. It isn't over and the death of one man who's been in isolation for years doesn't exactly put my mind at ease. The families of those killed on 9/11 are not going to now magically go back to their lives as if everything is ok. It wasn't ok yesterday, it isn't ok today, and it won't be ok tomorrow, no matter who we kill. If the death of Osama Bin Laden spells out some justice for people, fine, but the overt celebration of death and killing as if we are watching 24 or cheering on a sports team is highly unnerving and disturbing. Have you ever seen two dogs get into a fight at the park? Any dog that's around, unless stable and well-mannered (like mine), will want to get in on the action. Other dogs start randomly biting those around them or growling at nothing. When we shout hooray that someone's been killed, it only serves to incite more violence. Our media and our citizenry should be reflecting on how we can create peace amongst cultures and dampen extremism on all fronts. What separates humans from other animals is our ability to reason, and when we cheer for death the same way we cheer for the Giants, we're basically throwing all reason to the wind.
I'm not saying that Osama Bin Laden deserves our respect or sympathy, and I'm not saying that he deserved to live; I don't presume to take on the role of jury, judge, or God. But I do think that this day should be about remembering those we lost on September 11 and honoring those who have kept us safe since, not about a "we won, they lost, yippee" mentality. It is so not that simple. There are a lot of strong emotions associated with 9/11 and with Bin Laden, and I completely understand that; I'm a New Yorker. My father and many friends' fathers and mothers were pretty much right around the block from the towers that day and I remember the panic that rippled through the tri-state when the planes hit. I still get chills when I see the skyline in old episodes of Friends or in movies. I get it, the death of the mastermind is cathartic.
The problem arises when it becomes common place to publicly celebrate death and violence. I feel like I'm inside the Roman Collesium, desperately trying to get out before I have to witness not just the death of a gladiator, but the abhorrence of our species in the enraged audience. Obviously that metaphor is exaggerated for effect. We are talking about the death of a horrible man here who has caused us a great deal of pain, and our emotional responses run the gamut. But when we react publicly, can we do so with a little more civility? Can we hold back from literally cheering, thereby avoiding looking like a bunch of monkeys, and instead simply say thank you to our troops? And for pete's sake, can we abstain from using this moment to justify our political views or continue to harp on the failures of our political opponents? I am so sick of reading about how George Bush brought about this moment from conservatives, or about how badly he screwed it up from liberals. He hasn't been president for a while now, can we just move on? (I failed here; on twitter this morning I wrote that if this doesn't get Obama reelected then I'm not sure what will - just because something is true doesn't mean it should necessarily be said.)
When I see news clips of the masses celebrating in New York and elsewhere, I feel quite troubled. These sorts of celebrations should be reserved for World Series parades or Royal weddings or the advent of a new and more just regime. The media would have us think that the latter is precisely what this is, but I can't help but be reminded: we haven't won. It isn't over and the death of one man who's been in isolation for years doesn't exactly put my mind at ease. The families of those killed on 9/11 are not going to now magically go back to their lives as if everything is ok. It wasn't ok yesterday, it isn't ok today, and it won't be ok tomorrow, no matter who we kill. If the death of Osama Bin Laden spells out some justice for people, fine, but the overt celebration of death and killing as if we are watching 24 or cheering on a sports team is highly unnerving and disturbing. Have you ever seen two dogs get into a fight at the park? Any dog that's around, unless stable and well-mannered (like mine), will want to get in on the action. Other dogs start randomly biting those around them or growling at nothing. When we shout hooray that someone's been killed, it only serves to incite more violence. Our media and our citizenry should be reflecting on how we can create peace amongst cultures and dampen extremism on all fronts. What separates humans from other animals is our ability to reason, and when we cheer for death the same way we cheer for the Giants, we're basically throwing all reason to the wind.
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