Family

Yesterday I was watching an old episode of one of my favorite guilty-pleasure shows.  It was the one where Carrie dates a guy who has some shortcomings (the episode title and a play on words that I'm not going to explain here) and an awesome New York City family.  Carrie subsequently falls in love with the guy's mom and dad and sisters.  In the end, the issues with the guy turn out to be insurmountable and Carrie breaks up with him and reluctantly says goodbye to the the family.   As she leaves the townhouse, her inner monologue tells the audience "the most important thing in life is your family."  She goes on to say that "sometimes it's the one you're born into," in the case of her now ex-boyfriend, "and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself," referring to her own gang of girlfriends with whom she just happens to run into on that very same city block.  I think for most people that's true: that they either fill their free time with their biological family or a small group of close friends, and that one or the other is their main support system.

For me, no such singularity exists.  It's clear that in the modern day, the sorts of relationships that keep a person sane, happy, and connected to their humanity are dying out. With the advent of a myriad of technologies in communication, it's far easier to be isolated from your people than integrated with them.  It's important to go on dinner dates with your girlfriends, even though you could just as easily talk over text.  Try to make it to every cousin and friend's birthday (or call when you're too far away) even when you're tired and irritable.  It's worth the effort just to feel linked to the people around you, whether they're the people joined to you by blood or marriage or by some other association, past or present.  I'm convinced that if everyone in the world had half as many real friends as I do, or was part of a family just half as close-knit, supportive, and hilarious as mine, the world would have a lot fewer problems and would be a far sunnier place.