Scrooge

As a general rule, I often feel very differently about things than the general public.  I have become accustomed to the feeling of outsiderness when it comes to popular culture.  This is especially true when it comes to things that are supposed to be wonderful and amazing and beautiful.  On very many occasions, these things that everyone loves annoy the hell out of me.  With the rise of the in-your-face internet and social networking, however, I have recently began to feel extremely guilty about some of my own opinions. (Not about Valentine's Day or celebrating dating anniversaries, or being obsessed with planning your wedding - I still find these popular occasions completely stupid and inane.)

I'm talking about the Christmas holiday.  I loved Christmas as a child like everyone else, but I have had pretty ambivalent feelings about it as an adult.  I love the family time, I love the idea of Christmas spirit, but I hate shopping (see?! Not a normal American girl!), I despise crowds, and I cringe at the idea of decorating my one-bedroom New York City apartment for just me and Mike to look at for a month.  Our solitary Christmas decoration this year (one more than we had last year, by the way) is a comically tiny poinsettia from Trader Joe's.  I own one ornament that has space for a picture and says "our first Christmas."  It was a wedding gift from my cousin and I love it, though I haven't put a photo in in yet which i suppose defeats the purpose.  I decided earlier this year that since I do not have children, I should not be required to subject myself to the commercialized insanity of the holiday season.  I bought presents for my Secret Santas, my parents, and no one else, and all that shopping was obviously done online.  Mike is getting a new TV (despite my intense hatred of television) later in the year when I have all the money to buy it.  The consumerism of it all makes me really uncomfortable, and I hate the hype that builds up for all the wrong reasons. Yet I feel like a bad person when I see other people's huge Christmas trees and elaborate setups - either in person, in text messages, on Facebook.  Why do I care?  Edit: I don't care, but why in the world do I care about not caring?!  I can't answer this pointless question that I have posed to myself, I just know that I feel so guilty about not being in the Christmas spirit.  All this being said, the guilt's not going to change my position; I still thinking buying a huge tree and decorating it with hundreds of dollars worth of crap is a gigantic waste of time and money for childless twenty-somethings, and I still ask myself every year why no one tells you when you're a child that Christmas actually sucks as an adult.

Don't misunderstand, I'm not a complete Ebenezer.  I give to charity in December, I allow my heart (of stone, clearly) to melt while watching It's a Wonderful Life, and I full-on relish in the time off from school.  All in all, however, I really wish that Christmas was just another Thanksgiving.  Isn't the real Christmas spirit one of uncomplicated, plain old love?  That's the one I'm going for, and I don't need a tree or anything made in China to reflect on and celebrate a wonderful year.